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Being Irish

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Being Irish Empty Being Irish

Post by Admin on Mon Mar 24, 2014 3:01 pm

30 things that make you second-generation Irish
By Robert Brennan on September 16, 2013

THE IRISH are the largest and longest-established minority ethnic group originating outside Britain, but their difference is recognised only in the migrant generation.

Unlike the second generations of ‘visible’ ethnic groups, children of Irish-born parents in Britain are assumed to be British because they are (mostly) ‘white’ and have no Irish accent.

This list provides the tell-tale signs of a 2GI (Second Generation Irishman/woman).

Which do you identify with?

1. Born in Britain – you’ll need the patience of a saint to get your Irish passport

1. You travel on an Irish passport despite the fact it means getting hold of your parents birth certificates and requires the patience of a saint whilst waiting for it to be processed in Dublin.

2. Despite not having an Irish accent you use phrases such as ‘craic’, ‘grand’, ‘giving out’ and ‘feckin’ eejit’ when talking with non-Irish people.

3. You can put on an Irish accent which sounds more convincing than your parents – who have Irish accents.

4. You stand for Amhrán na bhFiann despite your Irish language skills being limited to telling people to ‘póg mo thóin’.

5. You had nightmares as a child after being told countless stories about the Banshee.

9. You’re related to someone who has worked in construction

6. You had no idea what the road you grew up on looked like for the first 16 years of your life during the summer because you were sent back ‘home’ as soon as school finished.

7. You cried, or tried to hide when it was time to leave Ireland at the end of the six weeks – questioning the sanity of your parents who swapped flowing green fields for life in a concrete jungle.

8. You envied your cousins in Ireland who had a longer summer holiday than the six weeks you got.

9. Your father, grandfather or an uncle has done, or still works in construction.

10. At least one of your parents walked to school without any footwear and the journey gets longer every time education is brought up in conversation.

14. Exchanging the Euro for the Punt – very uncool

11. You do not support England in any sporting event especially the World Cup despite the fact they are almost certain to win.

12. English people on hearing your accent are bemused by your reluctance to support the Three Lions.

13. You have experience of travelling to Ireland on a budget airline only to find that once across the water your baggage failed to reach the same destination.

14. The Euro will never be as cool as the Punt.

15. You can hold your own playing pool as you spent so much time in pubs during your six week summer holidays.

17. Plastic Paddies? – Aldridge, McAteer and McGoldrick were still all Irish lads

16. You know the history of Ireland better than your parents.

17. You get called a ‘Plastic Paddy’ by Irish people in Britain so feel the need to educate them on the birthplaces of Éamon de Valera, James Connolly and John Aldridge.

18. You burn in the sun and smile in the rain.

19. You get into Gaelic Games during the summer (when the soccer season is taking a break) but only if one of your parents comes from a county actually capable of winning the hurling or football.

20. You own a GAA top.

21. London GAA – no longer a joke for you

21. You’re planning to visit Ruislip next season as London are no longer a joke.

22. You grew up with a copy of The Irish Post in your house plus at least one copy of a regional paper from back ‘home’ such as the Mayo News.

23. When you have a child of your own born in Britain you make sure they are photographed in something green early on out of fear that the Queen might be celebrating something and a friend buys a T-shirt with the Union Jack all over it.

24. You used to be an altar boy but now only enter a church for weddings, funerals, christenings or possibly Christmas.

25. You know the British-born players who qualify to play for Ireland long before the FAI and Giovanni Trapattoni used to.

29. Mind-reader – Ronan McManus from the Bible Code Sundays

26. You can sing at least three rebel songs with such gusto that your neighbours fear an uprising.

27. You have a fondness for Celtic which gets bigger when they are drawn in the Champions League in a group containing AC Milan, Ajax and Barcelona.

28. You have a friend called Ciaran, Brendan, Patrick or Sean.

29. You believe the Bible Code Sundays can read your mind when seeing them play live.

30. One day you hope to go back ‘home’ and stay there until you are pushing up daisies.

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Being Irish Empty Re: Being Irish

Post by Admin on Mon Mar 24, 2014 3:02 pm

21 simple rules for being Irish in Britain
By Robert Mulhern and Ronan Early on July 26, 2013

1. Stand up for Amhrán na bhFiann. You don’t do that in pubs at home? So what? You’re not at home now — you’re representing the Irish abroad. When the anthem is played you get on your feet.

2. By all means get involved in the GAA — but do not limit your sporting and cultural activities to the Gaelic games. To do this is to miss the point of leaving home in the first place. Try new things, meet new people, engage with different cultures.

3. Do not say “you can’t get a decent pint of Guinness here”. That is b******s. Every big town in Britain has pubs serving good stout. Find them and support them.

4. Not all English beer is s***, so don’t say it is.

5. You must understand that a Ralph shirt tucked into bootcut jeans doesn’t cut it in the fashion stakes. Don’t go too far, though, you have to be a certain type of person to wear bright red chinos.

Want to sit down? See rule 7

6. Do not abuse the Irish language. Speaking in your native tongue to slag off English people in the vicinity is not clever, it is high dickery.

7. Don’t be offended if you offer your seat to somebody on the Tube and they tell you to f**k off.

8. Never describe something as “a bit Irish”, especially when talking to English people. Soft racism must be eradicated, not encouraged. Be a proud Irishman and never slag off your homeland to outsiders. Among your own you can, of course, feel free to dog the place out completely.

9. Don’t be a Blarney peddler. Being a proud Irishman does not extend to making grandiose claims. Describing the Irish education system as the best in the world or hurling as the best field game in the world will not make people impressed and curious. It will make you look desperate and irrational.

10. There’s nothing endearing about doing press-ups in the middle of Clapham Junction or jumping into the fountain in Trafalgar Square on St Patrick’s Day.

‘Sure it’s grand, English housemates’ – see rule 13

11. If somebody from your area at home moves over, you are duty bound to put them up on the couch for at least two weeks. Living in a small flat or not really liking the newcomer are not legitimate excuses.

12. Don’t bore people at home with tales of your fantastic life abroad. Similarly, there’s a limit to how many stories about Ireland you can tell in a night here. That number is two.

13. English housemates won’t buy into your ethos that everything “will be grand”. Work with them.

14. Slowing down your speech so that people can understand is permitted but losing your accent should result in your passport being revoked.

15. Stop telling people you’re just an hour from home — it’s at least four on a good day.
The Swan - not really for the over thirties - rule 16

The Swan – not really for the over thirties – rule 16

16. By all means go to the Swan nightclub in Stockwell, but get out before you’re 30.

17. Do not assume that everything in Ireland is automatically better or worthy of celebration because it is far away, for example: crisps, teabags, pig meat. Well, you may have a point with the latter.

18. It’s good to make your second-generation kids aware of their Irish heritage, but do not force them to assume your national identity. Everybody has their own path to travel and everybody is entitled to make up their own mind.

19. English people want to be your friend, don’t fight it.

20. That said: you do not don Union Jack memorabilia. Royal Wedding? Jubilee celebrations? Flag came free with the Sunday paper? Doesn’t matter. Too much history. Do not touch.


21. Lastly but very importantly: never, ever, ever use the term ‘Diaspora’. It is the mark of a waffling, pretentious eejit. You are not a waffling pretentious eejit, because you follow the rules.

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Being Irish Empty Re: Being Irish

Post by Admin on Mon Mar 24, 2014 3:03 pm

Ten questions to remind yourself that you are Irish
By Jarlath Regan on January 16, 2014

RTE PLAYER: Derek Davis may have even typed up the list in this photo

RTE PLAYER: Derek Davis may have even typed up the list in this photo

THEY say that nothing reminds you of how Irish you are than leaving Ireland. I moved to London from Dublin this time last year and for the first six months I never felt more Irish. But then something terrible started to happen.

Have you ever doubted whether you were Irish at all? I know I have. But it was only after moving to live in London.

Occasionally, when I’d find myself tearing up watching a Disney movie, enjoying the humour of Bruce Forsyth, considering buying a sweater-vest or agreeing with something Judge Judy had said, I’d have to slap myself in the face in the fashion of a corner man at a boxing match.

Like a lot of you, I grew up in Ireland in the 1980s and 1990s. And just as our parents used to tell us of the hardships that built their character and sense of nationalistic pride, the time has come for us to do the same.

Being raised in Ireland during the 1980s or 1990s is a world away from the Frappuccino swilling, Netflix browsing, dog grooming, life of luxury that this current crop of kids will be raised on.
Home & Away arrived into Dublin under armed guard

Home & Away arrived into Dublin under armed guard

Sure there’s less cash in the country now but there’s more than one place to buy clothes. They can go and see a movie the day it comes out in the modern Ireland. We couldn’t even watch the most up to date episode of Home & Away.

A trawler ship that had travelled all the way from Sydney, Australia would arrive in Dublin Port at 6.00pm every evening with a VHS cassette that was two months out of date. A member of the armed forces would take the tape by Garda escort to the national broadcaster where it would be transmitted for the young people of Ireland who had just been forced to eat Angel’s Delight as a desert or punishment.

It’s remembering these shared hardships as much as my language and Fionn McCool, that give me my sense of nationhood.
Modern Ireland ain't like the old times

Modern Ireland ain’t like the old times

I know I’m Irish because I can remember a time when an After Eight mint chocolate was considered a delicacy, when Forty Coats was simultaneously the best show on childrens’ television and the most terrifying show on television, when the RTE Player was just the man who scored the most ladies in Radio Telefis Eireann (Derek Davis).

Whenever I feel myself losing touch with the modern Ireland, struggling to identify with something that is now considered Irish or identifying with something overly sentimental on the telly I like to remind myself of these things.

But how can you dredge up these memories without the aid of alcohol, a pipe or a rocking chair? Here’s few key questions I ask myself any time I feel a moment of weakness coming on.

Have you ever looked at the back of a box of tablets while asking aloud, “Can you drink on these?”
Have you ever referred to someone as a “huare” and not meant anything bad by it?
Do you have a childhood memory of enjoying a picnic from the boot of a car on the side of a main road?
Are you familiar with the sensation of being thirsty for tea and not water?
Do you know what a “good Mass” is?
Have you ever reassured a severely sunburned person that it will “go brown”?
Do you consider crisps a legitimate sandwich filling?
Have you at any point entered into a discussion over the merits of King versus Tayto?
Do you remember when a “Smoothie” was just someone who was quite confident and good with the ladies?
Is one of your abiding childhood memories sitting in pub waiting to go home?

Print out these questions on a cue card, stick a picture of Derek Davis or Mr Tayto on the back, laminate it and carry it with you at all times.
The eternal question - Tayto versus King?

The eternal question – Tayto versus King?

The next time you feel yourself accepting a compliment without batting it away with a phrase such as, “Ah, sure what else would I be doing” or preparing to wash your car simply because it’s Sunday, whip the card from you pocket.

Hold it close to your face, ask yourself each question out loud while double checking that you can honestly answer “yes” to all of them.

Then resume doubting yourself and playing down your achievements like a true Irish person abroad.


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Being Irish Empty Re: Being Irish

Post by Admin on Mon Mar 24, 2014 3:04 pm

10 things the Irish invented… that you probably didn’t know
By Irish Post on March 17, 2014

THIS St Patrick’s Day, try drop a few of these hard facts about ‘Irish smarts’ to surprise your friends…

The aircraft ejector seat was invented by a Co. Down man

1. The submarine – was invented in 1899 by Phillip John Holland, a Christian Brother from Co. Clare

2. The aircraft ejector seat - legend has it that it was one too many plane journeys next to a nagging woman that inspired James Martin of Co. Down to devise this quick getaway in 1945

3. The Royal Ballet – you could be forgiven for thinking that Ninette De Valois, prima ballerina and founder in 1931 of the Royal Ballet was from continental climes, but she was in fact born Edris Staunus in Co. Wicklow
Johnny Rotten is proudly second-generation Irish

Johnny Rotten is proudly second-generation Irish

4. Punk music - at the other end of the British cultural spectrum, may be claimed by the English, yet its two most famous sons, Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious, both have Irish origins

5. Tayto’s cheese and onion crisps – he didn’t create the crisp but Joe Murphy from Donabate in Co. Dublin decided to give them some flavour in 1956, setting up the first Tayto factory in the heart of Dublin and creating the cheese and onion flavour

6. Colour photography – the engineer, geologist and physicist John Joly of the appropriately named town of Hollywood in Co. Offaly invented the first practical system of colour photography in 1894


7. Why the sky is blue – boundary pushing work in 1869 on light refraction by Irish scientist, John Tyndall of Co. Carlow finally gave us an explanation to this age-old question

8. Shorthand – the Irish not only talk quickly, but Irishman John Gregg of Monaghan invented the art of writing quickly – shorthand – in 1893

9. The White House and the Southbank Complex – the Americans can thank Irish-American James Hoban for designing the White House in the early 1790s, while Britain can pin the blame for the South Bank Complex firmly on the Irish, in this case Patrick Abercrombie, who was responsible for the 1943 London Plan which recommended the construction of the famously ugly complex

and finally…

Soda water was invented in Dublin in 1900

10. Soda water – this thoroughly sober beverage was invented in Dublin by Robert Percival in 1900 and just goes to show that there’s so much more to being Irish than just Guinness and shamrocks

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Being Irish Empty Re: Being Irish

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